To our surprise we fell pregnant within a month and I quickly had to prepare my mindset and life for a new little one. I felt that I had earned my stripes with Samuel and would know how to handle Abigail. Samuel was 21 months old when, just as God promised, little Abby made her way into the world.
I was so scared that I would fall back into that dark place.
After all, I now had two small children to care for. I read up on new routines, hoping to find one that would work with a baby and a toddler. I psyched myself up and told myself to remember that I needed to take one day at a time and to be kind to myself and not apply so much pressure to be the perfect mom.
Abigail developed colic and followed in her brother’s footsteps, as far as being a poor sleeper was concerned. I began to panic! No! I couldn’t go there! Not again!
The first year was a blur.
But I thank God for sending us two lovely ladies,to help in our house. Lilly for the first 10 months and then Cathleen, who has been with us for just over 9 years now. They took Samuel for me when I had to sit or dance around with Abby, or watch them both when I had to escape and be on my own for a while.
I decided to lose some weight and to begin exercising. I began to feel good about myself and felt that I was getting my life back.
The dark cloud had been blown out to sea, even though I was still aware of it hovering off the coast.
I was content with my boy and my girl and was not at all keen to take a chance with another baby, but God had other plans….
See Part 3 for Sarah